


Secrets

by kaelyngrey



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Bonding, Defeat, F/M, Hatred, Illness, M/M, Revenge, Romance, life and death, new relationships, relationships rekindled, struggles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-08
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2019-03-02 04:52:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13310934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaelyngrey/pseuds/kaelyngrey
Summary: Mark Tuan wasn't a man of many words.  Not even those who were closest to him knew all of his secrets, and if he could help it, no one ever would.  Now, seven years later he had finally started opening up to his band members, a high enough level of trust built up that he felt that he could trust them with some things, but not with everything.  He learned to smile a lot, and to laugh a lot.  He and Jackson shared skinship a lot, and they often had extensive conversations in English about things they did not dare tell other members.  He aggravated Jinyoung to no end, and tried his best to help Jaebumah keep the kids in check.  But he never assumed that maybe he had become too comfortable with the life he had made for himself, or too sure that his past would not come back to haunt him.





	1. Chapter 1

Mark Tuan wasn't a man of many words.  Not even those who were closest to him knew all of his secrets, and if he could help it, no one ever would.  It had taken a long time for his bandmates to understand him and his ways.  He tried his best not to show emotions.  He didn't like physical contact of any kind.  He hated being around kids.  He didn't tolerate alcohol or drugs, and he didn't date.  As often as he could he would get a room to himself where he could be lost in his thoughts and he often spent hours on his phone 'checking in with everyone back home'.  

Now, seven years later he had finally started opening up to his band members, a high enough level of trust built up that he felt that he could trust them with some things, but not with everything.  He learned to smile a lot, and to laugh a lot.  He and Jackson shared skinship a lot, and they often had extensive conversations in English about things they did not dare tell other members.  He aggravated Jinyoung to no end, and tried his best to help Jaebumah keep the kids in check.  But he never assumed that maybe he had become too comfortable with the life he had made for himself, or too sure that his past would not come back to haunt him.

* * *

 

 

 

Kaelyn Grey was a 22 year old girl from the rich part of Los Angeles, which would have been nice, if only she was rich as well.  Her parents had died when she was seventeen, and had left her everything they had, but through a series of cruel and life altering events she had been left with not a penny to her name, barely scraping by, and staying awake for hours on end wondering what she could do to make ends meet.

She had managed to finish high school and enroll in college, but now that she was working two jobs just to make ends meet, her dreams of a fruitful education seemed to be falling to the side.  Sure she had many talents but in the cut throat world that was LA, she was just too young for anyone to want to give a chance to and so the jobs that were available to her were things like ditzy make up counter girl and, do you want a latte with that muffin lady.  It was enough to push anyone over the edge and some days...

Some days she wished she had the courage to stand up for what had once been.

* * *

Jackson knocked on Mark's door before poking his head in, a small smile on his face.

"Hyung..." he said, sounding mischievious.

Mark just looked up from his phone, one eyebrow raised.

"JB hyung said to pack your shit," Jackson said.  "We're going to LA for a photo shoot and our manager said we could have a small vacation because we've been working so hard.  Your dad even called and said we could stay at your house even though they are out of town."

Mark smiled at that.  He would feel much more at ease in his own home, but a part of his mind nagged him about how well his life had been going of late and how as usual that was when shit hit the fan.

"How long will we be there?" Mark asked as he sat up, giving his friend his full attention.

"Dunno," Jackson said with a shrug.  "A few days?  Maybe a week?"

"Perfect!" Mark said, his face lighting up at the thought of having actual time to relax.  All he wanted to do was pig out on food and play on his game system and lounge by his parents pool.  This was going to be paradise.

* * *

Three days later GOT7 was in sunny LA soaking up the sun as they completed activities including a photo shoot, a short commercial, and a vlive episode before having the next 10 days to themselves.  On the last night of their schedules they went to a new restaurant Mark's dad had gushed about and as they were seated they looked around, noticing that everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves and that no one recognized who they were.

"What should we do tomorrow?" Bam Bam asked as he looked at the menu with Jackson who was helping him order.

"I have a date with Call of Duty," Mark said with a smile as he helped Youngjae and Gyeom.

JB was reading the menu, a frown on his face.  He really only liked Korean food.  A few minutes later a pretty waitress came up with a smile on her face as she looked at her table. memorizing faces to put with orders.

"Can I start you out with some drinks gentlemen?" the waitress said, looking around.  "We have pepsi products, water, beer on tap, a full service bar, and coffee."

She paid attention as Jackson translated for the others, taking down the drink orders of mostly water and one coffee.

"Does everyone know what they want to eat, or do we need a minute?" she asked, switching to Hangul to try and make it easier on the group.

BamBam and JB smiled at the effort she gave and looked at the menu.

"If there is something special you would like our chefs to try that isn't on the menu, Chef Ahn is in the house and he makes an amazing jjigae," she supplied.

The boys all smiled at that and nodded, placing their order for various items, JB ordering a seafood jjigae and rice, winking at the girl who brightened her smile in return.

"Wonder if she knows who we are," Gyeom asked once she had walked away.

"She probably does.  Why else would she suggest food that isn't on the menu?" Jinyoung asked as all the guys smirked.

* * *

Kaelyn walked back to the kitchens, placing her order with the kitchen staff and begging Chef Ahn to make some of his famous jjigae while batting her eyelashes.

"I  _really_  need an amazing tip tonight," she said softly to the man who had had a weakness for her ever since she had started.

"If I make this for you and you get that amazing tip you must take a day off," he tried to bargain.

Kaelyn shook her head sadly, looking exhausted.

"Bills don't take days off and I'm almost back to not drowning in them," she said.

Chef Ahn smiled at her and shooed her away and he prepared the items for her special request.  He had not ever yet been able to turn her down.  

Rushing back to the drinks station Kaelyn filled her drink order before returning to the table and handing out the drinks correctly informing them that their food order had been placed and asking them if they needed anything else before smiling.

"Well my name in Kaelyn, because I know I forgot to tell you, and if you need anything please don't hesitate to ask."

All the guys but Mark smiled at her and nodded.  Mark narrowed his eyes and scrutinized her, frowning when something in his mind clicked.

Ten minutes later Kaelyn was back around to check on the table, offering refills and apologizing for the food not being out yet but promising it would only be a few minutes later.  

* * *

"Are you okay, Mark hyung?" Jackson asked, noticing his friends expression.

"I feel sick," Mark said, his tone clipped.

"What's wrong, hyung?" JB asked in concern.

"I don't like that waitress," Mark said.  "She's up to something.  What if shes some kind of saesang and tries to poison us or something?"

The other six just looked at Mark in disbelief and shook their heads.

When the food came out it was absolutely perfect and for a moment Jaebum wondered if he was in Heaven.  Kaelyn continued to check on them at appropriate intervals, clearing the table when plates were finished, and Mark continued to complain about her.  As she was leaving the check and clearing the last of the dishes Mark moved his chair to bump her hard, causing all of the neatly stacked dishes to smash against the floor, left over food and glass pieces flying, the whole restaurant turning to look and Kaelyn standing stock still as her mind tried to process what had happened.  Mark had been so smooth about it no one had noticed and taking the opportunity he complained loudly, a side of him no one had ever seen before coming out.  It was almost cruel.

Jaebum and Jackson could see the girl holding back tears as her manager came over and berated her, turning to the boys and offering them dinner on the house out of his embarrassment, which Jaebum refused.

"It was an accident," Jackson said.  "Accident," he said again, looking at everyone.  "If you tell us the price we will pay for the dishes.  One of us must have bumped her or something."

Kaelyn by now was bent over picking up pieces as tears threatened to fall from the thousands of different emotions running through her mind.  Fear of losing her job which WAS going to happen.  Mortification over what had just happened.  Confusion over HOW it had happened.  Wonder over what she had done wrong to the man who had bumped her.  Disappointment in herself for being lacking as she was.  She tuned out the conversation as she quickly cleared away the mess, going to the back and throwing the whole tray in the garbage before going back out to the table to clean.

She paused when she saw one of the men still there, and held back for a moment before he approached her.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly, looking at her in concern.

Kaelyn just nodded, refusing to meet his eyes.

"I'm sorry," she said softly.

"You'll have to excuse my friend," he said. "He's not himself tonight."

Kaelyn nodded again.

"Our other friend took care of the damage," he said before extending his hand which had a wad of money in it.  "Here is your tip.  Thank you for being so helpful and kind."

Kaelyn looked at the money for a minute before slowly taking it and thanking the man, turning and walking back to the kitchen where her boss was waiting, livid.  Laying in to her the minute the kitchen doors closed, he fired her immediately stating that the man she had offended said he would only return if he knew she was not working there.  Kaelyn didn't bother to tell her boss Mark Tuan would probably never return because he didn't even live in this country any more.  Counting her tips as she walked out the door, Kaelyn was proud of herself that she did not cry until she reached her old, beat up, run down car.  

Composing herself long enough to drive home, Kaelyn quietly opened her front door, thanked the lady who was sitting on the couch, handing her a $50, and slowly climbing the stairs to her room where she cried herself to sleep, now faced with the knowledge that she would once again be sinking fast.

* * *

"What the hell, hyung?" Jackson roared as soon as they got home.  "You had her FIRED?"

Jackson was fuming and the veins in his arms, neck, and face were bulging.

"It was obviously an accident," Bam Bam said.  "She looked horrified."

"And she was really nice," JB said.  "No where else gets us food specially made.  That was a jerk move, Mark hyung."

Mark just looked at his bandmates and huffed.  They had no idea what they were talking about.  They didn't know the girl.  Not like Mark did.  Kaelyn Grey or whatever her name was now had obviously been up to something.  People like her never changed.  He had done his friends a favor by stopping the girl in her tracks when he did.

"I'm going to bed." was all he said in reply.

* * *

The next day Kaelyn got up, washed her face, got dressed, greeted the same lady from last night at the door, and left for the day to try and find a replacement job.  All she wanted to do was throw in the towel.

That same day the boys had rose and decided they needed to do some shopping so that they did not expend all of the food in Mark's parents house.  Making a list and deciding to go later that evening, the boys just lounged for the majority of the day before rousing themselves around 6 to go and get their shopping done.

The trip to the grocery store was an event.  The 7 men were like kids in a candy store, throwing everything you could imagine into their shopping cart.  When they got to the checkout line they talked excitedly about what they were having for dinner, bickering back and forth over the appropriate thing to fix.  The line at the time was relatively long and so once they had finished the food argument they started looking around, trying to keep themselves occupied.  Mark seemed to be staring at the woman in front of them who seemed to be holding her child.

The lady only had a few items:  some sprite, some Lays potato chips, and a lunchable.  Her child was young, but not young enough, Mark noted, to be wearing the diaper that stuck up out of his pants that was made visible as the lady rubbed his back and rocked him side to side.  Huffing and smirking, Mark made a derogatory remark in Hangul catching the other guys attention and sparking a conversation about the child, the junk food, the diaper, and what kind of parent the lady must be.

Kaelyn heard it all.  She knew the boy in her arms heard it all, and as he clung to her tighter, she knew that he understood.  For several long minutes she let the conversation progress until she couldn't take it any more and turned around slowly to eye the rude ass boys behind her, intent on giving them a mouthful before she froze, her arms holding the boy in her arms tighter as she tried not to panic.  

Her hair was a mess, and she had on enough makeup to make up to make her not look dead, but her pajamas probably didn't help her appearance.  After she was convinced no one remembered her from the other night, she spoke. 

"I know you probably think the dumb white girl in front of you doesn't understand you," she began in her well practiced hangul, "but she does.  And she has heard every mean thing you have said about the child in her arms.  More importantly, so has he.  And just like his mother, he has understood every word you have said.  So thank you," she said, making the 7 drop jaws as they looked at her.  "Thank you for making him feel even worse about himself than he already does.  Thank you for not understanding that right now all he can hold down are Lays potato chips and Sprite, and for not assuming that the lunch pack was for me, because it is.  Thank you for questioning my ability as a parent because all you see is a diaper, and not the fact that my child has no control over basic bodily functions because the chemo he is on to try and stop the cancer ravaging his body has robbed him of muscle control.  Thank you for showing him how cruel human beings can be."

Everyone but Mark was gaping like a fish as the boy slowly lifted his head to look at the people behind him, and when he finally showed his little face with his mask pulled down. Mark Tuan was almost brought to his knees.


	2. Chapter 2

"H-hyung?" Jinyoung asked as he looked from the lady to Mark and back, his eyes skimming briefly over the child as he tried not to make a connection in his mind.

"Shit," Jackson breathed as something in his mind clicked.

"Woah," Youngjae said, his eyes going wide.

Kaelyn just looked at them all, her gaze especially cutting when it landed on Mark.

"Why so serious?" she asked, her tone highly sarcastic.  "You look like you've seen a ghost Mr. Tuan."

Mark just made random stuttering noises while Kaelyn laughed humorlessly as she turned around and put her basket on the counter as the line continued to move.

"Kae..." he tried to say.

"Stay away from me," Kaelyn spat, not looking at the man behind her.

Having not seen him in over seven years, she had absolutely no desire to see him now, and in the very pit of her stomach, she was afraid.  So many possibilities lay before her and she didn't like any of them.

"What's his name?" Mark tried, his tone suddenly softer...kinder.

"My son's name is none of your business," she bit out.

"How old is he?" Mark asked instead.

"That isn't your business either," she said, handing the cashier a $20 and taking her change as Mark grabbed her bag.

The boys behind them were speechless.

"Give me my food," she demanded, sounding tired.

"Answer me," Mark threw back.

"Please?" she asked.  "It's late, and we need to get home.  M...he isn't supposed to be in public anyway.'

"What's wrong with him?" Mark asked.

"Why do you care?" Kaelyn asked, her defensive tone back.

Mark thought for a moment before scowling at her and shoving the food in her direction.

"I don't," he spat,

Kaelyn just rolled her eyes at him, turning and leaving seven very lost, very confused men behind her,  All the way home she fought the tears she had held back, checking on her son in the rearview mirror constantly as she drove him back to the safety of their sterilized home they were about to lose.  How she wished he didn't have so much on his tiny little shoulders.  Once she got him home and got him fed, sure the food wasn't coming back up, she gently tucked him in and gave him a kiss goodnight.

"How did you know those mean people in the grocery mommy?" he asked softly, his eyes sad.

"They came to mommy's work once sweetie," she said softly as she brushed the hair from his eyes, wondering when it would fall out again.

"Are they the ones who got you fired?" he asked innocently.

"No, baby," she lied.  "It wasn't them."

"How did you know that one mans name?" the boy asked.  "Does he know my daddy?"

Kaelyns heart seized.

"I don't think he does, baby," she said softly.  "I just remember his name from when he paid."

"Does my daddy not want me?" he asked, his eyes tearing up.  "Is it because I am...dis...disgusting and...spoiled?" he asked, remembering the words that Mark has used.

"I think your daddy wants you very much, Kai," Kaelyn said softly.  "But he's a very busy man with a lot of responsibilities. Remember what I said?"

Kai nodded softly.

"My daddy is in charge of making lots of people happy," he said, sounding a little bit proud.  "He has a very important job and we have to let him work so none of the people he helps become sad."

"That's right," Kaelyn said, knowing it was wrong of her to lie, but not wanting to add more guilt to the child before her.

"Will daddy come and save me?" he asked, sounding hopeful.

It broke Kaelyns heart.

"I don't know, baby,: she said as she closed her eyes against the tears.  "I don't...I don't think he will."

"Oh," the boy said, sounding sad.  "Mommy, when I die and go to Heaven do you think they will let me be an angel so I can watch over Daddy and help him make all those people happy?"

Kaelyn had to cover her face to keep her son from seeing her tears, only nodding to her son.

"Go...go to bed baby," she forced herself to say.  "We have a busy day tomorrow."

"I love you, Mommy," the boy said softly.

Kaelyn just nodded before fleeing from the room.

* * *

Mark was quiet the whole ride home, as was everyone else, as they were all lost in thought over everything that had been said.

"That was the girl from the restaurant, wasn't it?" Gyeom asked.

"No," Mark bit out.

"Yes it was, hyung," Jackson said.  "I remember her eyes."

"No it wasn't," Mark insisted.

"How did she know you?" Bam Bam asked.

Mark tried to look at him like it was obvious but no one was buying it.

"Why did you keep asking about the kid, hyung?" Youngjae asked.

Mark just shrugged.

"How do you know her?" JB asked, suspicion in his tone.

"I don't!" Mark yelled, causing everyone to look at him before looking at eachother.

As soon as they got home Mark went to his room and slammed the door, throwing himself down on his bed before digging in the dresser drawers and pulling out an old album, flipping the pages before landing on a picture of a pretty little green eyed thing from many years ago...

* * *

The next morning Kaelyn rose and showered, staying there until the water ran cold as she tried to escape her responsibilities.  Getting out she dried off and threw on some clothes before going to her sons room and getting him up, giving him a bath and changing him before taking him to the kitchen and laying out some food, sanitizing as she went while watching him eat so she could report to his doctor later in the day.  Just as she was about to get something for herself, her doorbell rang, and, holding her breath, she went to answer the door, expecting a repo, or a bill collector or a foreclosure by the bank.

"How did you find me?" she asked in fear when she saw her past standing at her door.

"I'm sorry about your parents," Mark said softly.

"That was five years ago..."  Kaelyn said, shifting uncomfortably.

"I'm sorry," Mark said instead.

"For which part, exactly?" Kaelyn asked, narrowing her eyes at him.

"For everything," he said, hanging his head.

"I already forgave you," she said.  "I don't need that kind of burden on myself.  You can leave with a clear conscious now," she said as she went to shut the door which Mark stopped with his foot.

"I need to apologize to your son," he said, trying to get another look at the boy.

"You're dirty," Kaelyn said.  "I can't let you in."

"Kae..." he said softly.

"No," she said, her posture stiffening.

"Is..."

"No," she said, shaking her head, sounding more like she was in denial than she was denying anything.

"Really?" Mark asked, trying to catch her eyes.

"Please go away," she breathed as she closed her bright green eyes.

"I have a right to see him..."

"You didn't WANT him!" she hissed out, hoping he couldn't hear.

"So he IS mine?" Mark asked in shock.

Kaelyn just stood there, her whole body shaking.

"Where is he?" Mark asked, trying to see past her.

"He's in the kitchen," Kaelyn said.

"Let me see him," Mark said.

"No," Kaelyn returned.  "I don't have to."

"He's mine!" Mark shouted.

"Prove it," Kaelyn whispered.

"Don't do this Kae," Mark said.  

"Leave my son alone," Kaelyn said.

"You mean OUR son?" Mark asked.

"Please..." Kaelyn begged,  "Just...let him live in peace.  He's at peace with himself. Just...don't break his bubble..."

"What's wrong with him?" Mark asked.

"Leukemia," Kaelyn said, finally looking at Mark.

Mark didn't know what to say.

"How long?" he asked.

"How long has he had it or how long does he have left?" Kaelyn asked, her voice devoid of emotion.

"Both," Mark said, fear in his tone.

"Seven months and...we're still fighting so..."

"I'm sorry," Mark said, not knowing what else to say.

"Me too," Kaelyn said.

"Is there anything I can do?" Mark asked.

Kaelyn WANTED to say yes.  To beg him to go and get tested to see if he was a match but...she knew what that would entail and...she knew that that was a sacrifice he could not...would not...make.

"Live happily as you have been," she said.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked softly.

Kaelyn gave him a 'really' look as she tried to bite her tongue.

"What?" he asked.

"You told me to go to hell," she said.  "So I did."

"Kaelyn..." he started.

"No, Mark," she said.  "I came to you.  I told you, about him.  And you called me a whore, told me to go to hell, and started a new life in Korea.  And thank god my parents were so amazing about it all.  But they are dead now, and I have more bills than I know what to do with, and every time I kiss my son goodnight I end up sitting in his doorway watching him sleep because I am TERRIFIED that I have just given him his last kiss goodnight.  And no matter how bad I fuck up, I managed to do the one thing you told me to do, and I have managed to live my life honest.  so just...go.  Be with your new life in your new home and...don't ever think of me again."

"I can't just let him die," Mark said.

"You can't save him either," Kaelyn said coldly.

"Why not?" Mark asked.

"Management, fans, schedules, pain, selfpreserving attitude, pride, shame, future," Kaelyn said. "Take your pick."

Mark looked at Kaelyn and knew that she was right.  Whatever it was, she had probably researched it all.

"Kaelyn," Mark started.

"Just..."

"Daddy?" came a voice from behind the door.

Kaelyn deflated as she sunk to the ground and Mark was brought up short as once again he looked the past he had ran from in the face.

  


 


End file.
